Monday, October 19, 2009


Suzannah's funeral took place the following Wednesday. After the ceremony, there was not a dry eye in the whole place. I still, some twenty years later, miss her and think about how it would be if she were still here.

I'm married now and have two kids, one boy and one girl. I named the girl Suzannah. She's just as smart as the other Suzannah and the name suits her well. She's not old enough yet, though, to understand the full honor we gave her when we named her Suzannah.

Just like I told Suzannah, I became a pediatrician. I wonder if Suzannah would have had kids if she had the chance. If they were anything like their mother, they would have been a riot to treat. Suzannah always hated doctors. She was sure they were all liars and cheaters.

Scott cheated the world out of a leader. I still believe that Suzannah could have changed the world for the better. We recently had a junior high school class reunion and a lot of people really made something out of themselves. For example, Therese is a well known fashion designer who flew in from Beverly Hills with her husband. As predicted, Cass married a business executive and as she put it, her profession is "shopping." Suzannah really would have gotten a kick out of seeing everyone again, I know she would of.

She never got to graduate. We all decided to dedicate our ceremony in memory of her. We also had a big coping session because quite a few kids couldn't handle her death.

I am still very good friends with Arnold. Suzannah's death brought us together and we are like brothers. He was the best man at my wedding and I was at his. He married one of Suzannah's close friends, Janette. They have two kids also.

Scott moved away right after Suzannah died. People kept egging and toilet papering their house. Someone threw a rock through a window. No one really liked Scott in the first place, but even he couldn't take it after Suzannah died. We never stopped torturing him. Arnold beat him up so many times, we all lost count. I would have killed him, given the chance.

The Rawlings sued Scott's family and won big. But money could never cover their loss. They too moved, only for a different reason. They couldn't take the memories. Everywhere they looked they saw Suzannah. Her room, the empty place at the kitchen table, the park she used to play in when she was little. It was very hard for them. I recently ran into Diana. She's married and has a daughter and is four months pregnant. I wish her lots of luck and love.

The first Sunday after the accident, I had gone and picked up the broken pieces of protractor and saved them. I still have them. I keep them in my box of treasures, and the box is always locked. My wife doesn't understand why I keep it locked. I tell her it's to keep it safe. She says she doesn't think anyone will want to take a broken protractor. Then again, I say, I never thought anyone would want to take Suzannah's life.

I keep a picture of Suzannah in a little frame on the mantel over the fireplace. My son once asked me why I have a picture of some kid there. So I sat down and told him the story. I told him that sometimes life can throw you a nasty curve and you gotta be prepared for it. All those years ago, on that fatal day Scott gave Suzannah a big push, none of us were ready for that curve ball life threw us. My son was eleven at the time.

The only other thing I have of Suzannah besides memories is her whistle bracelet. She really loved that bracelet. It was gold and had a little gold whistle hanging on it. She told me one day how she usually hated bracelets, but when she saw that one, she fell in love with it instantly. Never took it off, either.

While the picture, bracelet, and protractor are important, memories are at the top of the list. Without them, I could never remember the girl who taught me so much. Some of the lessons I learned weren't said or written, just learned by actions.

There is a small part of my heart that is empty. It will always be that way because that part was Suzannah's. And she never got the chance to complete filling it.


  1. I am so glad you posted this! It's so fun to see how our minds think when we're caught up in all the drama of mom recently found a story called "Middle Child Nothing" where the main character was named "Sally" ...hmmm...projecting much? :)

  2. Oooh, I'd love to read "Middle Child Nothing!" It sounds like a good read. Maybe we can start a bigger junior high story blog project.


Oh, the hilarity!